RESOLVING CONFLICT IN MARRIAGE

A marriage, millions of people dream of the day they will get married. But do they dream of the conflict that might come with that marriage? Absolutely not.  Disagreements are sure to happen in a marriage, but they do not have to lead to hurtful arguments. Here are some suggestions to help resolve conflicts with your spouse.

1. Agree to always listen to each others feelings, even if you disagree with the appropriateness of those feelings.

2.Fight eye to eye. If the fighting has already started, sit down, and discuss it eye to eye. If your spouse is not willing to sit down, be the 'bigger person' in the conversation and ask them nicely to sit down.
3.Commit yourselves to both honesty and acceptance.

4.Do not pick at the other for little things. For example, your husband might move some of the pillows on to the other chair when he comes home from work everyday and everyday you put them back. Make it a habit! Do not pick at your husband for doing that. Also, if your wife likes to rearrange your mail, give it to her to put in order so that both of you are happy. Nagging at what the other does, doesn't help one bit.

5. Limit the conflict to the here and now – never bring up past failures, since all past failures should have already been forgiven.

6.Appreciate one another. A thank you for something nice here and there didn't hurt someone. Also, saying sorry to someone, even if they made the mistake, can make a big difference.

7.Focus on that issue rather than attacking each other.

8Let the other make mistakes. No one is perfect, people make mistakes. Do not hold down the other when you wouldn't want to be held down for a mistake.

9.Never say anything derogatory about your mate’s personality. Proverbs 11:12 tells us that he who despises (belittles) his neighbor lacks sense (NASB).

10.Spend quality time together. What was the real reason you married the person? To have kids and that's it? I highly doubt that's why most people marry. The person you married is for a companion many people long to have but sometimes never get. Someone who's your best friend when your best friend isn't around. Back to reality, when spending quality time with your significant other it doesn't mean going shopping for 5 hours or going to a baseball game which only one might enjoy. It means take the time out to enjoy the weather to talk, to play, to take a stroll down a country road or even speed race each other at the go-carts.